


Just Another Stormpilot Fic

by kmcl09 (orphan_account)



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, POV Finn (Star Wars), Slow Build, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-06
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2019-02-28 19:46:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13278597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/kmcl09
Summary: Pre TLJ, slow burn, fluff, angst Stormpilot fic. What more could you want?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I got suuuuper frustrated because every stormpilot fic I would find on Tumblr would have like 5k words, and I was looking for fics 20k+. (And everyone I'd find, I'd already read!) I love stormpilot with all my heart and basically, I decided, "Fuck it, I'll write my own!" So here you have my winter break brainchild. Enjoy!

Finn opens his eyes suddenly and jerks himself up to study his surroundings.  _Ow! What the hell is that?_   He thinks. It feels as if a snake has crawled up every single vertebra in his back and taken a giant bite out of them. He flinches at the unexpected pain. He screws his eyes shut, the pain absolutely overwhelming, worse than anything Captain Phasma had ever inflicted on him during Stormtrooper Training.  _Stormtrooper Training_ , he thinks. This pain was worse than anything he'd ever felt, it was tearing him up at the seams. It was almost like punishment. Like _reconditioning_.

 _No,_ he thinks.  _It's not possible. It's not possible. It's not possible._ He closes his eyes and lays back down, repeating to himself that  _no,_ he's  _not_ in the reconditioning facility on the Star Destroyer, he made it out with Poe,  _yes,_ he's alright, he's at the resistance base.

He has to reassure himself a few times before opening his eyes again. Everything comes into focus slower than the last time he opened his eyes, which is alright for him. He tackles the little voice in the back of his head that is telling him he's wrong. He fights the voice, pushing it to the back of his head, reassuring himself over and over. The repetitions help him to carve out what he thinks is the truth, and separate it from the voice. The voice keeps pushing back. No matter how far he pushes it away, it comes back. He holds his head in his hands and tries to clear his head. He remembers a tactic another stormtrooper in his battalion taught him, to think about what got him there and how he can fix it. Finn ponders and then retraces his steps. He broke into the Star Destroyer,  he shut down the shields. He fought Kylo Ren with Rey.  _Rey._ Finn knew right at that second that he  _had to find Rey._

He swung his legs off the side of his bed, ignoring the snake still in his back, ignoring the adamant beeping of all the med droids that had been poking and prodding at him for the last, well, he couldn't exactly  _recall._ He knows he's been in the medbay for some significant amount of time, wasting resources, he's sure. If he were still back with the First Order, they would've cut him off. There was a reason you'd never see an old, badly injured or terminally ill stormtrooper. The First Order "took care" of any and all stormtroopers in the form of a blast to their heads while in the fresher. Finn shook his head to release the thought and practically ran out the medbay doors. He cringed at the pain and slowed down.

The paper that made up Finn's medical gown crinkled as the waddled down the corridors. He hadn't the slightest idea where he was going. He hadn't yet had the opportunity to explore the base yet,  _obviously,_ seeing as he was comatose in the medbay for who knows how long. He limped down the hallway, holding onto the cool walls for support. He had made it 50 feet from the doors of the medbay, give or take when his legs gave in, no longer able to bear the pain exploding in his back. He collapsed in a heap next to a window. He knew he couldn't get back up without help, so he just turned his head to gaze out the window at the beautiful scenery outside. All he could see was forests, mountains, lakes, and streams, stretching as far as he could see. He turned his head to the right and spotted the tarmac where he and Poe had their reunion when Poe returned alive. Finn had been so happy that day before he had left to return to the Star Destroyer. He wasn't able to recall anything past his fight with Ren, so he assumed that must've been the reason he was in the medbay, Ren's lightsaber had sliced through his back. His back and the jacket!  _Poe's_ jacket! The only thing he owned, the only thing in the galaxy that had ever been given to him except for protein rations, but he assumed those didn't really count. 

He knew he had fucked up, with the jacket no longer in his possession and most likely torn beyond repair. His face fell. He spotted Black One on the tarmac, surrounded by the other Black fighters. He saw an orange jumpsuit peeking out under the X-wing, but no orange and white droid. He sat watching Poe from afar for a couple minutes, spacing out and thinking of _Poe._ He snapped out of it when he was interrupted by a familiar beeping. He grinned.

"BB-8! Hi!" It looked him up and down, with a disapproving-looking expression. He seemed to say _w_ _hat the hell are you doing?_ Finn laughed.

"I was going to go find Rey but it seems I wasn't quite ready yet." BB-8 poked him with one of his pincers in a sort of  _stay here_ gesture. Finn obliged, seeing how he was incapacitated in his crumpled form on the floor. He watched the droid skitter down the hall and he turned back to the window to continue looking at the view. He watched the lakes in contempt, the streams filled with life. He pondered on all the life forms in the galaxy, and how all the critters in the stream got along in harmony. _Why couldn't we just get along like that with the First Order?_ A strong sense of comradeship and longing settled in the pit of his stomach. It was hard being away from his squadron, even though they had been told not to form any emotional connections in case of the inevitable, but Finn just couldn't help it. He frowned sadly, then moved his eyes back to Black One. Finn blanched as he saw the swirling orange and white ball roll out onto the tarmac towards it. He kept watching as BB-8 rolled up between Poe's legs and shimmied around until Poe rolled out from underneath his plane with a clearly exasperated expression. 

BB-8's head moved left and right, like how a human would be animated. It took Poe a minute to get BB-8 to slow down, but when he did, his face lit up. "Finn?" He seemed to say. Even from his position at the window, Finn could understand his expressions. He felt as if he'd known Poe for all his life, because he pretty much had known Poe since the moment his  _real_ life began. Poe quickly unzipped his orange jumpsuit to reveal a plain black tee shirt and loose dark grey sweatpants underneath. Finn's breath caught in his throat. This was the first time he had ever seen Poe out of that ridiculous fly-boy getup. 

Finn rushed to get the blush off his cheeks, as he could tell that Poe and BB-8 were heading to him. He also switched his gaze from watching them to the forests of D'Qar. He soon forgot about Poe and BB-8, because his breath was taken away yet again by the beautiful, lush forests of D'Qar. He could imagine sitting up high in a tree, being held by Poe, or having a picnic under the lush canopies, if they ever had a moment to themselves. In between missions, spending their free time alone together. Finn could feel the blush trickling back into his cheeks, thinking of Poe. Poe.  _Shit!_ Finn pressed a palm to his cheek, feeling the obvious warmth of his skin under his hand. His dark skin helped to camouflage the blush somewhat, but he could tell it was still apparent if one looked closely enough. He knew he had to return his gaze outside, so when Poe and BB-8 arrived, they wouldn't expect anything.

The second he lowered his hand and looked back out the window, he heard Poe. 

"Finn! Buddy!" Poe practically squeaked. Finn looked at him and smiled weakly.

"Hi, Poe." He looked at Poe through his eyelashes until Poe crouched down in front of him. 

"Finn, bud, we missed you!" BB-8 chirped in agreement. 

"I missed you too," Finn said, feeling the blush return to his cheeks.  _Damn_!

"Finn, why are you balled up over here? And why are you still wearing a gown from the medbay?" He looked puzzled, and, Finn could tell, worried. 

"I, uh, escaped from there to, uh, find Rey," he said, sheepishly. Poe's expression changed from puzzled to a bit disappointed, but mostly relieved. 

"You didn't make it very far, I see." Poe quipped. Finn couldn't help but let out a tinny laugh. "We need to get you back there, bud. I can tell you're not supposed to be discharged yet." Finn frowned at this, but he didn't protest. He knew Poe was just concerned for his well-being, but if it were up to him, he didn't want to return.

He voiced the thought he had had earlier to Poe. "I know that, but I don't think I should go back. The Resistance has more important things to worry about, not keeping some shitty ex-trooper alive. Three-quarters of the people in this base don't even want me here." At this, Poe looked sad, angry almost.

He was quiet for a few moments, then said, "Finn, buddy, I don't want to hear you say that  _ever_ again. You  _deserve_ to be here! You helped us get into the Star Destroyer, you fought  _Kylo Ren,_ and you saved me! Finn, you've done enough here to become a general or commander or some other shit." Finn looked away from Poe, clearly disagreeing with his previous statement. " _Finn,"_ Poe said, almost desperately. "You  _belong_ here. Don't tell yourself otherwise. Don't let  _anyone_ tell you otherwise. Buddy, you've done so much."

Finn's eyes flitted back up to Poe's shyly. "You don't mean that," he said, quietly. 

"Finn, bud, I _do_. Now please, come with me, we need to get you back to the medbay." Finn sighed. 

"Alright." Poe stretched his hand out, and Finn latched onto it for support. Poe pulled him up quickly, and Finn was surprised at his strength. Finn knew he wasn't exactly light, having been trained vigorously all his life. He let Poe drape his arm over his shoulders, and Poe placed his hand on the small of Finn's back. Finn instantly tensed, not out of pain, but out of surprise, and partly out of pleasure. Poe took his hand back the second Finn tensed.

"Oh, shit, sorry, babe. Your back. I forgot. Sorry," Poe said. 

"No, no, it's fine. I was just su-surprised is all," Finn said airily. All he could think was  _babe babe babe babe he called me babe oh my god_. 

"Oh, uh, sorry," Poe said and was wary putting his hand back a lot lighter this time. "Is this ok?"

" _Yeah._ " 


	2. Chapter 2

Finn awoke for the second time in the medbay, this time aware of his surroundings. He recognized the med droid taking care of him and sighed in relief. Finn was very glad to be away from the hell hole he grew up in. He could get used to the freedom he had at the base. He sighed and used his elbows to push himself up so he was sitting at a 90 **°** angle with an unusual absence of a complaint from his back. Surprised, he reached his arm back and felt a strange, gel-like substance slathered all over his back, apparently the source of his painlessness. He scooped up a fingerful of the mystery substance onto his finger and brought it around to his other side so he could examine it. It was clear and warm. Finn brought his finger towards his eyes so he could see it better. His marveling was interrupted by two sharp taps at the door. Finn immediately froze and brought his right arm up to his forehead in a stiff salute and held it until the visitor entered his room.

It turns out the visitor was Poe, and when he saw Finn's rigid sitting salute, he looked heartbroken. 

"Finn, buddy, what are you doing?" His tone was alarmed, but his face looked like a kicked puppy. Finn lowered his now tired arm and shook it before answering.

"Sorry, I thought you were someone else," he replied softly. Poe's expression morphed into pure anger.

"Who?" He snapped, and Finn flinched. "Sorry, bud, I didn't mean to say it like that. Who?" He said, softer than before.

"I-I guess I thought you were Phasma or some high ranking officer. It's just an involuntary reflex. Sorry." Finn felt ashamed. He knew he was no longer at Starkiller Base, but some things had been so ingrained into his personality he just couldn't get rid of them. The conditioning they had used on the stormtroopers was called "psychological abuse" according to one particular First Order-hating droid. The first time the droid commented badly on the Order, Finn had to bite back a retaliation. It took him a few hours after that to realize what he did, and he had tried to make himself understand that he was no longer a part of the Order. 

"Babe, it's alright. I understand. I'll try to be less harsh in knocking next time. I have like, 15 minutes of free time before I have to run and I wanted to spend it with you." Finn brightened, at the confession and at his new favorite word.  _Babe._ He thought he might drown if Poe said it again. Poe still looked a bit concerned, but then grinned at him (probably unaware of the effect the word had on Finn), and sat in a chair a few feet away from Finn's bed. 

"I have something for you, but first you need to wipe that bacta gel off your finger." Poe looked at Finn crookedly. "By the way, why is there bacta gel on your finger?" Finn laughed.

"The med droids put it on my back to help it heal, I think." Poe nodded. "Also, I  _cannot_ accept anything else from you, Poe. For kriff's sake, you already gave me a jacket, which I ruined, and a name. I haven't gotten you a single thing and, to be honest, I feel like shit about it." Finn held an embarrassed expression. 

"Buddy, it's okay! You saved my life! I'd give you a thousand jackets if I had that many. I owe you so much, bud. You saved my life! And, who cares about a damn tear in a jacket. I have you,  _alive,_ and that's what matters." Finn blushed so hard he was sure that you could see it all the way from Tatooine. If Poe noticed, he didn't comment.

Poe reached into the pocket of the oversized grey sweatshirt he was wearing. His shirt lifted up during the gesture (which was  _hot_ , Finn noted). Poe procured a shiny gold metal box from the pocket. The box about porg size. Poe placed it in Finn's hands. Finn tilted his head and looked at Poe.

"What is it?" He asked. He looked at it a bit longer, and, as far as he could tell, it just looked like a shiny brick.  _Maybe some sort of decoration? Maybe to brighten things up a bit?_

"Watch this," Poe instructed. He tapped the brick thrice, and a projector fired up.  _A holo_ _!_ Finn gasped. He'd never seen one up close, except for the one Phasma wore on her wrist to tell time and receive alerts from Hux and the like. "Yep," Poe confirmed, "you can download anything you like on it, like books, movies, shows, etcetera." Finn looked in awe. "As long as it's not porn," Poe chuckled.

"What is 'porn'?" Finn questioned. He thought he had heard it mentioned in a bunk once, but he couldn't recall. 

Poe paled. "I'll let you find out from someone else. Preferably not me," he said with an off-center smile. Finn agreed skeptically and then turned his attention back to the holo to diffuse highly palpable awkwardness hanging in the air, Poe's for saying something he shouldn't have said, and Finn for a slight recognition of a sexual word.  _Was Poe_ hinting  _about something?_ Finn shook it off.  _He probably doesn't feel the same way I do._ Finn frowned.

"Do I have to pay for things? Surely the content isn't free and I have about zero credits to my name," he joked. Poe laughed.

"No, you don't have to. It's taken care of." 

Finn turned towards him with wide eyes. "Poe! I can't accept this! It's way too nice."

"Sure you can bud. I owe you the galaxy." Finn couldn't help blushing again. _Damn him!_

"Thank you, Poe." Poe drew him into a friendly embrace, one arm draped over Finn's shoulder and gave it a squeeze. Finn didn't let Poe see him wince. When they pulled apart, Finn noted a tinge of pink on Poe's cheeks.

"You're welcome. I have to get to a meeting with my squadron, but I'll take you to the mess hall afterward, yeah? You need to get something in your system other than whatever bland shit they've been pumping you full of here if I do say so myself." 

"Deal," Finn said. Poe waved as he shut the door lightly. Finn saw him practically run out of the medbay and chuckled. He really wasn't lying about a limited amount of free time. Finn checked the clock on the wall. 15:00. Having been to one of these meetings before, Finn knew they could last an upwards of 2 or 3 hours. So, Poe should be back at 17:00 or 18:00. Perfect. That gave Finn plenty of time to explore his new gift. 

By now, the holo had shut down, so Finn tapped it 3 times and it turned on with a soft whirr. Finn decided he'd rather read a book than watch anything, for fear of interrupting others in the medbay. He clicked on books and browsed through titles. There were romance novels, historical fiction, mystery, and language learning books. Finn decided he should probably do something useful with his time in the medbay, filling his free time with something useful instead of blinking at the wall for hours on end. He clicked the language section and flipped through the titles offered. He saw _Wookie in a Week,_  which he thought Rey could use.  _Did Rey know Wookie?_ Given Rey knew everything about everything, he decided to maybe tell Rey another time. He passed some other boring titles until he saw the one he was going with.

 _Binary for Beginners_ had a picture of a droid and a man hugging on the front, which reminded him of Poe and BB-8. He knew he had to learn binary soon because he had a feeling he'd be spending a lot of time around the two of them in the future. He tapped it, and came to a screen that said, "Cost to Proceed: 5 credits". Finn felt a little bad to be using Poe's money, but he went ahead and clicked. He hoped the transaction didn't show up in Poe's inbox because he wanted it to be a surprise when he learned binary.

Finn flipped to the first page and began reading.

Binary for Beginners _will help you learn binary and_   fast! _Learning binary is a great way to improve companionship between yourself and your droid, and a great way to form lasting friendships. Binary is very simple, but it may be hard for some to learn complex things, like grammar. We suggest getting additional help from a multilingual companion, like a protocol droid._ Finn skipped a bit ahead.  _Chapter one: Types of beeps._ Finn read and read while the window outside his room became dark. He read until a little orange and white droid disturbed him. 

_Hello, Friend-Finn! Friend-Poe and I are back from the pilot's meeting._

"Hello to you too, BB-8. Is Poe on his way?" BB-8 looked confused, thinking that Finn was just using a general greeting, not really understanding it. 

It beeped back _Yes, Friend-Poe is on his way. Can you understand me?_

"Yeah, bud, I can understand you. But let's keep it a secret for Friend-Poe's sake, okay?" BB-8 still seemed confused and looked at Finn with its head cocked to the side. Its stare was broken off when Poe entered the small room. 

"Bud, you've  _got_ to stop running in the halls. An angry officer stopped to yell at me about that 'little shit' and how I need to keep it under control." He said, panting.

 _Next time tell him to fuck off_ _!_ BB-8 said impatiently. Finn laughed.

"What's so funny, Finn?" Poe seemed just as confused as BB had before Poe came in.

"Oh, just BB-8's bad language." Poe seemed even more confused than before.

"You know binary?" Finn considered throwing him off with one of those old 'I knew it the whole time' tropes but instead told the truth.

"Yeah, actually. I read a book about it while you were at the meeting. It cost 5 credits. I hope that's okay." Poe waved it off.

He beamed. "That's great, Finn! Now you can truly understand the obscenities BB throes at everyone." Finn couldn't help but beam back at him. "We should probably head to the mess hall. I've got a bunch of people I want you to meet." He stretched out his big, calloused hand. Finn took it, the warmth radiating from his hand to his very core.

"Yeah, we should."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! Finny-D (lol help) and tha big P.O.E are thrown together by unforeseen circumstances.

The mess hall was loud and full of overlapping chatter. No one looked at them when Poe pushed open the door, which Finn appreciated. He knew he wasn't yet a welcome presence in the Resistance to some people, given his stormtrooper background, which Finn understood. He knew the First Order would have a similar reaction if someone who "defected" from the Resistance joined their ranks.  _If they'd accept them and not kill them in an instant._  Poe noticed that Finn was off in his thoughts again, so he grabbed Finn's hand and dragged him over to the table where all his pilot buddies sat. The hand-holders received quite a few wide-eyed stares from the members of the table, but Finn and Poe both pretended not to notice. Their stares broke off when Poe spoke.

"Everyone, this is my buddy, Finn." He pulled his hand out of Finn's and said, "Finn, this is everyone." Finn smiled.

"I'm glad to be here. Nice to meet you all." Poe sat down, and Finn followed suit, slightly squished into Poe by the bulky pilot to his left. Most people returned to their interrupted conversations except the few people directly surrounding them, which Finn deemed to be Poe's close friends. A woman looked up at smiled at Finn.

"Hi, Finn. I'm Jessika. Pava. Nice to meet you." She smiled wider. She was medium height, a bit on the short side, with black hair and brown eyes. Finn thought she could be Poe's cousin, they looked alike in the defined features and dark hair and eyes. Poe had told him earlier that she idolized Luke Skywalker as a kid, and became a pilot to be just like him. She seemed nice, but she looked at him with a sideways glance that seemed to say, If _you hurt him, I'll rip you apart._  Finn laughed. Her protectiveness was cute, almost sisterly.

"Likewise," Finn grinned and turned his gaze to the other member of the group. The man sitting next to Jess was ostensibly involved in his food until Jess elbowed him. 

"Oh uh, sorry. I'm uh, Temmin. Temmin Wexley." Finn shook his sweaty hand. "You can call me Snap. If you like," he added quickly. He seemed nervous until Poe flashed him a reassuring smirk and he appeared to warm up. Sort of. Poe suddenly noticed the food in front of Jess and Snap and noticed the lack in front of himself and Finn.

"Kriff, right. Food. C'mon." He pulled Finn up. Finn didn't complain about the pain in his back. He was just happy to have his hand in Poe's again. He started to blush as Poe's firm, calloused hand gripped his soft one, and prayed to whatever cosmic joker out there that his rosiness wouldn't be very noticeable. 

Poe continued to pull him along until they got to a kind of assembly line of what appeared to be kitchen workers. Some people in front of them in the queue were growing impatient with the kitchen workers, but Finn had learned to be nicer to those in lower stations, having worked in sanitation and constantly berated by his comrades for choosing such a low position to complete his training. He knew no one wanted to work in labor-type jobs, but they had to be done by someone, right? 

The man in front of them in line grabbed his tray gruffly from the server and stormed off. Finn flashed the laborer an apologetic smile to cover for the man. While Finn was thinking about  _what_ was that man's problem, Poe took over and grabbed two trays for them and lead Finn back to the table.

 

About an hour later, Finn, stuffed with food and drink, decided to return to his quarters. Except, he didn't really have quarters, did he? He wanted to wind down and read his binary book further, but he definitely didn't want to return to the medbay. Poe had stayed at the table, wanting to continue his conversation with Snap and Jess. Finn felt he had overstayed his welcome at their table, so he left to pursue reading. He really didn't want to return to the medbay, but he had nowhere to go. He sighed and acquiesced to return to the bay. 

He pushed open the doors with a heave, still weak from his surgery. An angrily beeping med-droid used one of its pincers to drag Finn back to his room. _You've been gone too long!_ Finn couldn't tell if the droid was angry or just protective. Finn was being dragged around a lot today, it seemed. That's all you can really do with someone in his condition. As he removed his shoes and leaned back on the bed, he wished that he was better. He wished his back was well enough to take himself to get breakfast, to explore D'Qar and maybe, just maybe, go on a trip with Poe in one of the planes. Contrary to the nervousness he had felt earlier, he began to feel tired and, after battling it for a few minutes, succumbed to sleep. 

 

 

While he slept, Finn dreamed of flying high above the clouds, looking down in awe at the shimmering bodies of crystal clear water and the lush, green canopies of summer. He looked closer and saw birds flying alongside him, flapping their beautiful wings and winking at them. His eyes followed them as their flock tore in half into a nosedive. Finn gasped. But, the birds soared above them and regrouped spectacularly. Finn gasped again, and his ears were met with the most beautiful part he had seen yet. He spun his head around lazily and saw Poe's eyes light up, the rays of the sun illuminating them and making them seem almost hazel. It was at this moment that Finn decided he wanted to hear more of that laugh, to see more of those magnificent eyes. He decided he wanted to be with Poe, every single day of his life.

Poe's eyes caught his own, and, careful not to accidentally press any buttons, maneuvered so he was sitting shoulder to shoulder with Finn. He wrapped his arms around Finn. They stayed like this for a while, wrapped up in their thoughts. Even without speaking, Finn felt more happy, more content than he had ever felt before, watching the scenery, being held by Poe. He felt himself beginning to wake, and said one last thing ."I think I love you, Poe."

 

Finn's eyes fluttered open languidly. He was still thinking about the wonderful encounter he shared with dream-Poe. He mourned for the loss of Poe's strong arms wrapped around him, watching the forests whizz by in the plane. He sighed. He'd never before felt this way about a person, and he didn't even know if it was  _right._ He remembered, back when he was a stormtrooper, ( _I still am,_ he reminded himself) one of the higher ranking officials saw two young troopers share an embrace before being deployed. When all the troopers were back onboard the ship, the officer made a show of having the troopers remove their helmets and giving them both a blaster shot to the head. Finn winced at the memory. No one wept for their fallen comrades, and the officer made a point in this.  _In the First Order,_ he said sharply,  _there is no_ room _for friendship. It is every trooper for themselves, united under one thing and one thing only. The First Order. Not love, not hope, nothing of the sort. You are united under loyalty to_ me! _Should a display of friendship happen again, I guarantee you, I will have Phasma herself electrocute you until you can_ feel it _in your very core, and blast your head off in front of every trooper we own!_ Finn shuddered at the memory and felt the violent urge signifying he was going to vomit. He clapped a hand over his mouth, barely getting to the fresher in time before he emptied the contents of his stomach into the toilet bowl. He felt weak. Weak at the memory, and weak at the fact he had clearly fallen for someone that did not reciprocate his feelings. He barely even saw Poe around anymore.  _For kriff's sake, Finn_ , he scolded himself,  _you need to separate your head from your heart._ He decided he was going to act like nothing happened, he wasn't going to talk to anyone about the dream or the sudden bout of nausea he just had. He also decided he was going to get the hell out of this medbay. He was certain the bleached white atmosphere was making him more sick than well. 

He collected all his personal possessions, which added up to the holo, and a few donated clothes and a pair of shoes, changed into the aforementioned clothes and shoes, and trodded over to the head nurse. He didn't know how to go about it, so he just asked bluntly.

"I would like to be discharged, please." The nurse stifled a giggle behind her hand at the unusual request. 

She blushed. "O-okay sir. Um, do-do you have quarters to return to or w-would you like me to assign some to you?" She stuttered and Finn wondered why until he realized,  _oh right, I'm a war hero._ He laughed at his own joke. The nurse looked taken aback. She probably thought Finn was laughing at her stuttering.

"Oh, uh, sorry." He said meekly. "Yeah, uh, I'll be needing rooms, please." The nurse smiled sourly and tapped at her holo. 

"Room #489B has an available bunk. I'll send you there," she said. Finn could see that the holo said there were 14 empty rooms, but he guessed it was the angry nurse's idea to put him with someone else. Probably her revenge. Finn felt bad and considered explaining to her why he had laughed, but she just scanned his finger on a pad quickly, and gestured towards the door, queueing him to leave. He had no idea where he was supposed to find room 489B, but he figured neither he nor she wanted him to remain in the bay any longer. 

He struggled to push open the heavy door again, but he was glad he could smell something other than bleach. Something  _good._ It resonated with him that he had not eaten since last night, and there was currently no food in his stomach, but he decided not to eat for fear of it coming up again. He decided he wanted to place the holo and his undergarments in his room and not venture into the dining hall with them in hand, as he had already gotten enough wide-eyed stares to last a lifetime. 

He meandered down the halls with no idea where he was going. He must've been wondering around for half an hour until he finally saw a sign reading  _Rooms 450-500 -- >._ He breathed a sigh of relief. He wasn't sure he could remain upright for much longer. He walked in the direction the sign pointed to, counting the rooms.  _450A, 460A, 470A, 480A, 489A. This is it._ He exhaled, wondering who his new roommate was. He realized he looked weird standing outside the door like that, so he put his finger on the scanner and the door slid open. He stepped inside and a mechanical woosh behind him alerted him the door was closed. He looked around. The room was quite tidy, with holo frames on one of the desks closest to the window. He walked over and picked up the frame displaying what appeared to be a mother, father, and baby boy, all smiling into the camera in a soft blue light. Finn placed this one back on the desk and picked up another frame that had a mother, a father, and a boy who seemed a bit older. Finn placed this one down, and noticed the pictures displayed the same couple and child, with the child never appearing over the age of eight. Finn thought maybe his roommate was one of the two parents. Speaking of, where exactly  _was_ his roommate? He sat on the empty bed that was closest to the door and the fresher door, which was closed.  _Ah,_ Finn thought. He turned his attention to the nightstand, switching on the lamp and putting his holo in the top drawer. He rose and placed his remaining clothes in a nearby dresser. He was still folding some of his clothes when the fresher door swung open and revealed a very confused, and very hot, man  _(wearing only a towel,_ Finn noted)

"Finn?" Poe asked, with his face a question mark. Finn blushed  _again. How many kriffin times is this gonna happen?_ He thought.

"Uh, hey, Poe. I got assigned to new quarters this morning. You're my roommate, I think," he said nervously.

Poe continued looking confused for a moment, but he quickly brightened up. "Sorry for the mess... I didn't really know you were coming," he said and walked to his dresser. He pulled a dark grey sweater over his head, and Finn felt the droplets that fell from Poe's wet hair on his cheeks. He closed his eyes and smiled to himself. "Don't look," Poe said. Finn turned his head the other direction and he heard the towel drop. Oh, how he wished he could turn around. He thought about it for a moment, but he didn't want to spoil the surprise for himself. He felt the now very familiar blush return to the apples of his cheeks, warming him from the inside out. He shivered. After what seemed like an eternity, Finn turned around to see Poe laying artfully on top of the light grey sheets, book open in his hands. His brow was furrowed in his reading, and he was wearing glasses.  _Glasses!_ Finn thought he looked like the best sight in the world, much more beautiful than any forest, lake, or stream. Finn thought he might melt. 

"Poe?" Finn interrupted quietly, not wanting to disturb the moment.

Poe flipped his book closed and held his page with his thumb. "What's up, babe?"  _I don't know how he does it,_ Finn thought. _How does he put that much feeling into one tiny word?_

Finn grinned. "Who are those people in those holos? Are they your family? I was looking at them while you were in the fresher. They're quite nice." Poe smiled tightly.

"Thanks. They're my family. My mom, Shara Bey, she was a pilot for the Republic and my dad, Kes Dameron, was a sergeant in the civil war," Poe smiled sadly. 

"That's you in the middle, right?" 

"Yeah, it is." Poe smiled again.

"Kes  _Dameron_ you said, right?" Poe nodded. "That's your name." Finn looked puzzled and Poe looked a bit thrown-off too until he remembered.

"Right, you don't know this kinda stuff," he smiled lightly. "Usually, children take their father's last name, and generally, in a marriage, one partner takes the other's last name." Finn nodded. "My mom didn't because, well, she felt she didn't need to." Finn cocked his head to the side. "I mean," Poe began, "She loved my dad and all, but she argued she already had a last name, and didn't see a reason to change it." Finn understood. Poe smiled at him, and flipped his book open again. Finn decided he, too should occupy his time, so he reached into his nightstand and pulled out the holo. He unlocked it and reopened the binary book.  _Chapter 4- Subject-verb agreement._ Finn read for about an hour, then felt his eyelids beginning to grow heavy, so he closed his eyes and dozed off. 

Poe had been watching Finn reading out of the corner of his eyes, seeing Finn's pupils dilate and his mouth move along with the words he was reading.  _Adorable,_ Poe thought. He was now asleep, so Poe got up and fetched him a blanket of his, and draped it over the sleeping man. He smiled to himself, then returned to his own bed.  _I think I might be falling in love,_ he thought to himself. He wasn't complaining. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking I want to paint Poe in his glasses. Let me know if you'd like to see it in the comments. Thanks for everything! I hope you enjoy!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter might take me a bit longer to publish because I'm getting distracted painting my lord and savior Oscar Isaac. Anyone know where I can buy his chest hair in a plastic baggie? Asking for a friend. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this one.

Finn awoke with a crick in his neck from sleeping flat on the bed without pillows. He also noted the spot of bed he had rested his head on was slightly wet too. Embarrassed, he quickly covered up the spot where the drool was. Finn's squadron back on Starkiller had told him that he tended to sleep with his mouth open, perfect for catching flies. He once caught them plotting to throw leftover dinner rice in his mouth while he slept. He laughed softly to himself.

Finn had missed all meals yesterday, having been cooped up in the medbay for breakfast, wandering around the corridors for lunch, and asleep at 1600, missing dinner. His stomach rumbled, the last meal he ate was dinner with Poe the day before last. He thought the members of the table must've been guessing where he was, but he discarded the idea and instead decided to hop in the fresher and clean off the dried drool on his chin. He waved his hand and the door opened quickly, and it closed itself once he stepped inside. He undressed, turned the water all the way cold, and flexed his muscles in the mirror, seeing that his pectorals and biceps had decreased in size, probably resulting from his inactivity. He decided he would check out one of the training rooms today, maybe spar with a dummy or two. After inspecting his arms for a few more moments, he let the shockingly cold water wake him up fully. His stormtrooper comrades used to laugh at him about this too, asking him  _why the hell_ he couldn't just be normal and drink a cup of coffee to wake himself up instead of taking a cold shower at 0530 in the morning. For him, it worked like clockwork. On the very rare days that troopers didn't have morning duties and were allowed to sleep in until 0700, Finn still rose and took his daily shower. He had received a lot of complaints, but he could never seem to break the circadian rhythm ingrained in him at a young age. 

He had been standing in the same position for a while, his arm starting to get cold, so he took a step out of the water to lather some of the regulation shampoo onto his head. It didn't smell of anything, probably for those sensitive to perfumes. He stepped back into the steady stream of ice-cold water and watched the bubbles make their way down the drain. He then scrubbed his body with another scentless product, cleansing himself of the bleach smell of the medbay that lingered on his skin even hours later. He rinsed off and shut off the tap with one hand and grabbed a towel with the other, wiping off his face first, then his hair, then his body. As per usual, there was no steam on his mirror from hot water, which he liked. He always hated standing in front of the mirror and waiting for the steam to evaporate. Finn looked (and felt) refreshed after the shower and the long sleep last night. He tied the towel around his waist and exited the bathroom. As he approached his dressed, he realized the one pair of clothes he had were dirty. He sighed and pulled on one of the 3 pairs of underwear he owned and walked to Poe's dresser. He hoped the sleeping man wouldn't care if he borrowed his clothes. Finn pulled on a black crew neck sweater and black pants before realizing he was an inch or two taller than Poe, and the sweater revealed an inch of his midriff and an inch of his ankle. Finn just shrugged it off though, because to him, wearing clothes a bit too small was better than wearing dirty ones. He slipped into a pair of socks and then into his black shoes and set off to the mess hall for breakfast. He considered waking Poe to go with him, but he knew most people, besides soldiers and the elderly, liked to sleep later, have them the luxury. He was confused about getting to the dining hall, not having left his quarters since arriving there the day prior. He looked around aimlessly for signs pointing him in the right direction, like the one to his rooms, but he found none. He began to give up hope until a familiar round droid bumped into his exposed ankle.

"BB-8! Hey!" Finn said, a bit too loud for this time of morning. 

BB-8 looked confused.  _Why are you up this early, Friend-Finn?_   

"I usually get up around this time," Finn explained. "Trooper stuff." BB-8 nodded. "Why aren't you in our rooms?"

 _Our?_ BB-8 beeped. 

"Yeah, Poe and I are roommates now," Finn said. BB-8 beeped happily and said something he didn't understand. Finn was confused, but he didn't ask any questions. "Do you know the way to the mess hall? I'm kinda new here and I don't know where I'm going." 

BB beeped a  _follow me_ , and tore down the hall. Finn noticed that the BB unit hadn't answered his question, but the droid had probably forgotten about it. Even with the training Finn had endured every day, it was still hard to keep up with the droid. Finn raced after the droid, trying to keep track of left and right turns, but it was a bit hard with the droid going so fast. By the time they arrived at the heavy glass doors, Finn was almost panting. BB-8 beeped and Finn thanked him. The droid rolled just as quickly down the hall as he did the minutes before like he had somewhere to be at 0600. Finn laughed to himself again and pushed open the doors. The only thing he didn't like so far about the Resistance were these heavy ass doors.  _Why'd they have to make them so heavy?_ Finn thought to himself,  _are they bomb-resistant or something?_ Finn thought jokingly. He then realized that was actually a good idea.  _Huh._  

He walked to the assembly line and grabbed a tray of food and a steaming cup of black coffee. He didn't know where to sit, so he decided to sit with Jess Pava at the table she had introduced herself at. "Hi," Finn said cheerily. She looked tired, waking up so early didn't seem like a regular occurrence for her. 

"Uh, hey, Finn," she mumbled. She had an already empty cup of coffee in front of her, but to Finn, it looked like she needed a little more, so he thrust his own cup in front of her.

"Here," Finn said, "you look like you need it a bit more than I do." Jess accepted gratefully, warming her hands on the hot porcelain. 

"A bit?" She asked. Finn laughed. "Thanks, Finn." He nodded.

Finn shoveled his now lukewarm eggs into his mouth, kinda wishing he had something to wash them down with. Jess disrupted his thoughts when she said,

"So, Finn, why are you up this early?" It seemed to be a question he was receiving quite a bit today. 

"I usually get up at 0530, shower, and eat breakfast. It's a circadian rhythm kinda thing," he explained. "What has  _you_ up this early, Jess?" 

"Same thing, really. My mom used to always say that one should get up early for fear of missing out on something. Honestly, I'm an insomniac. I get around 7 hours of sleep nightly and it's pretty hard to get more than that. Although, I am glad I have a new breakfast companion." They shared a grin. "Also," Jess started, "what's up with you and Poe? You're sharing quarters now, I've heard through the grapevine."  _Grapevine?_ Finn made a mental note to ask Poe about it later. 

"Oh, uh, yeah, actually. It's true. But, we didn't choose to room together. The nurse in the medbay was angry with me so she decided to put me in a room with someone else in it as revenge, I guess."

"Damn!" Jess asked. "What'd you do?"

"I laughed at my own joke and I think she thought I was laughing at her. I felt pretty bad about it but she threw me out of there before I had a chance to explain myself." Jess laughed at his misfortune and he partook too. 

"I should probably get going, I want to tune up my plane before I take her out for a spin. Wanna come? I don't know if there's a lot you can do at this hour." Finn nodded excitedly. "Let's go, then!" Finn rushed to pick up and dispose of his tray. Jess waited for him at the door, then they headed out towards the door. This time, Jess pushed open the gargantuan door, to which Finn was relieved. They walked in tandem through the halls, finally at a pace where Finn was actually able to take notes of the left and right turns. They got there after a brisk two-minute walk. As Jess pushed open yet another massive door, Finn gasped in awe. All the X-Wing fighters were lined up in neat rows for easy access, Finn presumed. Right at the center was a fighter with its hull painted a matte black. "That one's Poe's," Jess said, and pointed at the one Finn was already staring at. He nodded. "You can hang around here for a bit until your bo- _Poe_ gets here. He's normally up at about 0800, so that should give you a bit of time to mess around. Just don't try to fly anything," she said and winked. Finn laughed and began to walk around all the planes. He ran his fingers along the side of the planes, feeling the metal under his fingertips, cool from having the hangar door open last night. He thought all the planes were beautiful, but he kept returning to black one. He felt the plane was so him, so _Poe_ , the same color as most of Poe's wardrobe, but friendly and welcoming despite its color. He desperately longed to be able to fly the plane, squished into the pilot's seat with Poe, cruising just above the water. He suddenly realized he had the materials at his disposal to learn flight, and he smiled widely.

He sat down, resting his back against a particularly large toolbox, and pulled the holo brick out of his pocket. He tapped it three times, the soft blue display whirring to life, and he swiped through the pages until he found the search bar and he typed in " _X-wings for beginners_ " and scrolled through titles offered. He found one with a green cover that said  _Learn to Fly an X-Wing Fighter for Beginners_. He had felt his search was a bit too specific, but it seemed there was a book for everything nowadays. He paid the 4 credits, still feeling bad about spending Poe's money. He went ahead and flipped to the first page. 

_Chapter One: Learning the Controls_


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some cute shit up ahead! Buckle up, folks!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this took a while school just started and I am lazy as hell! I feel like everything in this fic is moving too fast but I'm too far ahead to give up. I think I'll have it done sometime soon, hopefully, the 16th or 17th. I have no idea. Anyways, thanks for your support and enjoy!

A few hours had already flown by with Finn completely immersed in his book. He was learning a lot, like how to start and stop, which button meant what, and how to fire the blasters. He thought if he had an astromech droid by his side, most of those functions would be taken care of. He exed out of the book, went to the search engine, and typed nearby markets into the search query. He was determined on finding a droid of his own.

All the markets he flipped through seemed interesting, but not quite what he was looking for. There was one on a nearby planet which appeared to be reliable but the market only sold droid parts and Finn had no idea in hell how to put something that complex together. After a few minutes of unrewarded searching, Finn gave up on the search engine and clicked out. Finn then tried to think of reliable markets he knew, but he only knew of a few, and those ones he had blown up with his stormtrooper cronies. He remembered that Rey lived near and traded at Niima Outpost where they sold scrap metal and assorted parts back on Jakku. Unfortunately, the market was owned by the scumbag Uncar Plutt. Finn knew Plutt as the man who deprived Rey of food,  and he knew Plutt would try to swindle him into paying some ridiculous sum of credits. The only thing Finn wanted with Plutt was to strangle him with his bare hands. Finn thought of people who might know honest retailers that he could trust to sell him what he needed for a fair price.  _Maz!_  He thought excitedly. _Why didn't I think of her earlier?_  Maz always had the answer to who was and was not someone you could trust. The second something happened, Maz was informed and made her judgments. He knew she was the right person to ask.

Finn elapsed more time sitting on the floor, back up against the toolbox, thinking of Maz, and, more importantly, thinking of what type of droid he wanted. He wished to have the close friendship with his new companion like the one Poe had with BB-8, or like Luke had with R2D2.  _Speak of the devil._  

Poe approached with a bounce in his step and Finn rose slowly, ass sore from being squished in the floor for two, maybe three hours. "So," Finn began, "the princess is finally awake.

Poe laughed. "I don't know what you're talking about, 'finally', Poe said. "It's only about 0800, still kinda early. Although it isn't for you, I take it. Try sleeping later like a normal human being," Poe tried to say jokingly, but Finn took the jab straight to his heart. What'd he mean by normal? Finn thought to himself. Was Poe really that disturbed by me waking at 0530? Finn frowned, thinking Poe's jab was an insult. His face screwed up, flipping through all the meanings Poe's comment could've had. Finn took a few wobbly steps back, distancing himself from Poe and the plane.

Just in the nick of time, Jess interrupted their conversation and flashed a look at Finn.  _You okay?_ Her face asked. Finn nodded. She then dragged Poe off, talking about needing help with her plane (which she clearly didn't, apparent to both Finn and Poe), and a frown set in on Poe's face. Finn was grateful for his dismissal and slipped the holo brick back into his pocket. He had been planning on asking Poe if maybe they could go flying today, but now he wasn't feeling it. If anything, he wanted to talk to Rey. He didn't know if she'd ever experienced a romantic relationship (if this even was one, Finn added). He decided to find General Organa and ask if he could use one of the comm droids to communicate with Rey on the Millenium Falcon and ask her advice. Even if she'd never had experience with the situation, she always offered excellent accurate advice. But at the moment, he felt as if he were going to puke.

Finn walked briskly to the nearest bathroom, locked the door, and splashed some cool water on his face. He felt the redness in his face begin to go down, the heat leaving his cheeks. He knew the sudden rush of blood had nothing to do with embarrassment, but with the insult he feared he had suffered at the hands of Poe. Did Poe really not think he was normal? That he was outlandish? Some kind of weird humanoid that didn't know how to act around others? He looked at himself in the mirror. His hair had grown out longer, longer than the typical close-cropped haircut he was given as a Stormtrooper. He had small hairs growing out of his chin, a result of not shaving for a few weeks. Finn had felt better than he had before, even with only having been conscious for a week. He rubbed his face with his hands up and down and felt the bristle of the coarse hairs against his palms. He blinked a few times in the reflection. He liked what he had become, surrounded by people he loved and people who loved him back. He felt welcome here, but he couldn't ignore the stares boring holes into his back every time he entered the mess hall or the disapproving glances he got when on the bridge. He began thinking again about all the members of the Resistance who acted around him in this manner. He had to sit down, as the urge to vomit had become too strong to be able to stand on his feet. 

He never wanted to be an outcast in this way, he wanted to get out of the everyday evil that the First Order had inflicted on all the innocents in the galaxy. All he had wanted to do that day when he busted out of there with Poe was to help himself. Now that he was here at the base, he realized he really wanted to help the Resistance in their mission to restore the galaxy. He felt that the people who looked at him that way probably only saw the original side of him, the side that only cared about himself and his life. Finn could see how they saw that of him. Sometimes he even saw that of himself. He didn't know what to think anymore. Poe was the only constant in his life right now, and if he didn't like Finn, no one would. No one had ever stood up for him except for Poe, and he wasn't sure anyone else ever would. He held his head in his hands, rocking himself back on the floor, salty tears beginning to leak from his eyes and making his skin tight. Tears flowed from his ducts, seeping into his mouth through his tightly clamped lips. He cried silently on the floor for about a quarter of an hour. He was slightly disappointed that no one had come to look for him but also was glad to be left alone. He knew deep in his heart that the feelings he was feeling were necessary but he couldn't help but feel bad for himself. He felt he deserved the self-pity after all he had endured, but then another part of him didn't. He honestly didn't know why he was taking Poe's comment to heart, but Finn felt this sudden breakdown wasn't because of him in particular, just the accumulation of all the things he had been feeling in the past week. 

A light rapping on the door drew Finn's head from his hands. He slowly rose from the ground, wiping the tears from his eyes and pretended he wasn't a grown man bawling on the floor of a bathroom. He dusted off his pants and unlocked the door. 

"Finn?" Of course, it was Poe. Everything he had been experiencing in the past week seemed cliche, almost fake. 

"Hey, Poe. Listen, I think I overreacted. I'm sorry." Finn shook his head in disapproval with himself. 

"Finn, babe, it's not your fault. I know you're stressed out about being here, being new. I don't think my joke was well received." Finn hung his head. "I'm sorry," Poe lifted Finn's jaw with his warm, rough-textured hand. "Come here." He pulled Finn into a tight embrace, his strong arms wrapped around Finn's lower back. Finn's muscles tensed but then melted into Poe. He stretched his arms tentatively around Poe's shoulders and back, and pulled Poe closer to him. It felt nice to have gotten all his emotions out, but next time he figured he would talk to someone. 

Poe pulled back from the hug and looked deep into Finn's dark brown eyes. "Finn, don't be ashamed of yourself. If I were in your shoes, I would be feeling the same way too."

"But, Poe, I'm not supposed to be this way. I've been  _trained_ not to act like this. I've been in conditioning since I can remember. I don't know what's going on, why this is happening. Something's  _wrong._ " Poe laughed.

"It's called developing feelings and a mind of your own, Finn. You're becoming less of a robot and more of a human. This is normal." Poe said reassuringly.

Finn scoffed. "Clearly, the people who give me dirty looks everywhere I go don't think like you. If those glares I got gave me bruises, my whole body would be black and blue." Poe laughed again.

"Finn, fuck them. Honestly.  _They're_ not the ones who  _defected from the First kriffin' Order,_ Finn! You saved my life! You fought Kylo Ren! Do I need to get you a medal so you'll realize how legendary your accomplishments are? Finn, you're such a badass! I don't know how you keep forgetting that, but I'm going to make it my life's purpose. I'll call it 'aggressive complimenting'." Finn couldn't help but burst into a wide grin, creases forming around his eyes. "Your dimples are adorable," Poe observed. Finn beamed. Poe took his pointer finger and traced the dimples mindlessly, tan fingers on chocolate skin. Finn almost whimpered at the intimate touch. 

At that moment, Poe didn't think he could help himself any longer. He moved his hand to the back of Finn's head, cupping it. He moved in and smashed his lips against Finn's, praying he wouldn't get pushed away.

He was delighted when the lips kissed him back.


End file.
